Musing

Updating via novella

It’s been awhile.

Moving, adminning on 4 pages, the business, and health stuff has sort of eaten all my time and gumption for such things. I’ve found it hard to focus my thoughts, though I’ve tried enough times. 

Even now I’m feeling a bit lost on where to start and go with this blog. Life is a giant jumble and my writing is reflective of such. I feel bad subjecting others to it. 

Health stuff. It’s not Lupus! Thank Odin. I feel like a jerk for being so happy about that as I’ve made so many friends with Lupus lately. 

Turns out the meds I was on were producing a number of symptoms. Malar rash, joint swelling, sensitivity to light, headaches, crippling fatigue, anxiety, depression, hair loss, difficulty breathing and swallowing. It was horrible. On top of which, I had severe intestinal issues, constant tinnitus, racing heartbeat, visual disturbances, muscle spasms, ulcers and a near manic insomnia. 

 A trip to the ER later we determined I have IBS, ulcers, possible celiac disease and should avoid meds for fibromyalgia due to my likelihood of developing all the adverse side effects and nsaids due to my ulcers. I already knew to avoid dairy, msg and processed meat but now I am also avoiding gluten, anything fried, non lean meat, meat in general really. Sugar stopped tasting good along the way somewhere and alcohol has really bad side effects too. Swelling, rash, joint pain etc.

So now I’m one of those teetotaling, vegan, gluten free types: ordering coconut milk quad shot lattes at my locally owned coffee house. 

I’ve lost 15 pounds and I don’t feel like I’m dying a little more each day. My fatigue is gone unless I’m in a lot of pain. When I’m in a lot of pain, I meditate, do yoga and try to think happy thoughts because that’s pretty much all I’ve got left now. 

I’ve accepted this is it. I’m okay with that, not because others have it worse or because some deity is testing my mettle, but because I am making the best of this life, even if it hurts. It’s mine and I cherish what time I have here with those I care for. 

I’m trying to have the best possible attitude about it. I’m trying to share my abilities with others and ease suffering anywhere I can. I’m trying to raise empathic, respectful little humans with healthy backbones who won’t sit down and shut up when they see the injustices our world is plagued by. 

We are moving. I’ve packed much of the house and just scheduled the final walk through. The utilities are scheduled for shut off and a basic timeline for things to be done has been organized. I feel like I’ve got an incredible handle on things, considering all the other stuff happening. 

My new year’s resolutions involved yoga and random gifts and kind gestures to a cross section of people in my life. I planned to do 6. I’ve delivered 2 so far and a third is half finished. Not bad for all the other stuff on my plate. 

I’m on an etsy like page for crafters with chronic illness. I haven’t invested enough time on it to make it worthwhile yet. I need to work on that and launch on etsy too. There’s a toy store in the new area we’re moving to called Monkey’s Uncle. I am taking it as a sign of good things to come.  

I’ve been wonderfully productive and taking great steps in the right direction but for just now my neck is a hot mess and hurts horrifically. I’ve stretched it over a rolled towel and iced it. Now I’m using my 10s unit and blogging for distraction. Hopefully I can go back to kicking butt a bit later. 

Ciao

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